4 Steps to Reclaim Your Impact
When you have goals you want to make happen, but it's just not happening because other things, people, or events chronically take your focus and energy away from accomplishing them, it's time to draw a line in the sand and set some boundaries, so you can reclaim your impact.
If you're new to boundaries, they are simply rules or guidelines for what you will and won't do or allow from yourself and others. Boundaries are crucial because they protect & support the priorities and goals you have for your life.
There are 4 steps to getting your time, focus, and subsequently your impact, back on track. They are:
STEP 1: KNOW YOUR VALUES
Knowing what's important to you will give you immense clarity that will empower you to set meaningful goals, declutter goals that aren't important to you anymore, and give you confidence when deciding what you should say "yes" to, and "no" to.
If you're having a hard time knowing how to quickly pinpoint what's important to you, try this: Write down the top 5 things that annoy you. The things you value most are likely the opposite of those things! Rewrite your list as what you most value and toss the "annoy" list.
STEP 2: KNOW YOUR GOALS
If you don't know your goals, it will be all too easy to take any distraction that might come up. In fact, people without clarity on their goals often subconsciously welcome distractions because it helps them feel productive. Yes, it can be challenging and even uncomfortable to take time to get clear on what you want, but think about how much more uncomfortable it would be to get years down the road and realize you've been aimless for the majority of your life. Yikes!!
If you're unclear on your goals, try this exercise Genevieve Rackham introduced me to:
Imagine starting tomorrow, EVERYTHING works out for you for the rest of the year. Projects flow with ease, timing goes just right, all the resources you need come effortlessly to you, even the resources you didn't know you needed! With that positive anticipation in your energy, imagine yourself on Dec 25th of this year. You're looking back and feeling so proud about your year. As your imagining yourself on Dec 25th looking back, what did you accomplish this year that you feel proud of? Write down the 5 goals you accomplished as if they already happened. These should be your top 5 goals for the year!
STEP 3: KNOW YOUR LIMITS, and recognize when they are being crossed
Now that you know what is important to you, and what your goals are for the year, you'll need to get clear on your limits. This is super important so you can conserve your energy for the things that matter most to you.
You can easily spot your limits by remembering times in the past when you've unintentionally gone beyond them. These are times you've felt exhausted, angry, unhappy, disappointed, insecure, or really anything even a little bit outside of straight up well-being. I want to repeat: recognize that you've likely passed a limit if you feel even a little bit outside of well being.
I'm sad to say that in our culture, going way past our emotional and physical well-being limits gets undeserved praise even through failed relationships and burnout. And, too often savvy people who recognize their limits and set boundaries get criticized for their behaviour. (This is where you just have to put other peoples opinions in the trash if they don't aid to your emotional or physical health!) Recognizing a limit in the early stages and altering course does NOT make you weak, it makes you savvy and undeniably able to win the race holistically, and long-term.
Before you move on to the next step, think of a few times you've let yourself cross your own limits, or times other people have crossed your limits. Make note of what your limits are.
STEP 4: SET BOUNDARIES that make your goals inevitable
Remember, boundaries are conscious rules to protect your values, goals, and well-being. Having boundaries will conserve your time and energy, so you'll have plenty of it for what matters most to you. An example of boundaries to protect a goal is:
Goal:
Start each day with a positive attitude
Boundaries to support and protect that goal:
Say "yes" to planning 3 needle-moving things I will accomplish the next day the evening prior, so I can wake up with confidence and direction
Say "no" to picking up the phone until I feel sure-footed in my positivity
Say "yes" to making sure the kitchen is clean and the living room is tidy before bed so I can wake up to a space that's full of potential, rather than full of "to-dos"
Take Action Challenge!
List out 5 values-based goals for either what you want to accomplish or how you want to feel, but are having a hard time moving forward on.
Then, under each of your goals, write at least 3 things you'll have to say "yes" or "no" to in order to protect that goal, and ultimately, make it inevitable. These are your boundaries!